Child abuse is the most difficult and traumatic experience that can target a child. In my 30-year-practice as a matrimonial lawyer, I have discovered that child abuse is often a result of father absence. The presence of a responsible father is critical to combating child abuse.
When the biological father is guilty of abuse, a specialist’s intervention is often a must. A psychologist or a psychiatrist who specializes in that area can hopefully be a life saver. In appropriate cases, children must be removed from the abusive parental household and parental visitation should be therapeutically supervised or terminated until further order of court.
In my book, Fathers’ Rights, I teach fathers how to be the best parents they can be and how to protect their children. Many children fall victims of abuse because their fathers are kicked to the curb by the legal system and can’t protect them. I have written at the top of page 47 in my book a significant fact that contributes to abuse:
“The absence of a biological father increases by 900 percent a daughter’s vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse (often these assaults are committed by stepfathers or the boyfriends of custodial mothers).”
It is not the presence of a responsible biological father that puts his children at risk, it is his absence.
I have used significant research in my book. For example, research indicates that compared to living with both parents, living in a single-parent home doubles the risk that a child will suffer physical, emotional, or educational neglect. As I stated in my book, several psychologists have documented the developmental difficulties endured by fatherless children, such as low self-esteem, poor school performance, hyperactivity, depression, withdrawal and several degrees of paranoia. Fatherless children continue to encounter educational, career, and relationship failures more than their peers from intact families.
It seems that our legal system’s definition of “support” must be expanded to include the love, nurturance, discipline, guidance, and companionship a child needs from both parents. In my book Fathers' Rights I used a study of 273,000 children who identified thirty requirements vital to a child’s successful growth and development. Parental availability, approachability, communicativeness and involvement were at the top of the list. The most valuable support a parent can provide isn’t payable in cash.
There is no doubt that the intense suffering and toxic trauma inflicted on fathers and children by judicial bias is extremely serious. According to the Census Bureau, 18 million US children live in single-parent homes. Only 3.5 percent of these kids live with their dads. Only one in six divorced dads sees his children once a week or more. These numbers speak volumes about the current gaps in the judicial system when it comes to paternal involvement.
Being a father is the most fulfilling role a man can have. However, egalitarian fathers demonstrate greater involvement in their child’s life than those with traditional views. It seems that sometimes tradition plays a counter role in parenting. When traditional family structure becomes the reason a child is being abused then there is something terribly wrong with that tradition and the family who chooses to follow it. There is no excuse for child abuse.
In cases where the noncustodial parent has a well-documented history of violent, abusive or destructive behavior, the court is empowered to require that visitation take place only under supervision. Supervised visits are ordered to protect the child, but can also safeguard a noncustodial parent from false accusations of child abuse or other inappropriate behavior. Sanctions imposed to punish contemptuous violations of a court ordered supervised visit can include fines, forfeiture of child support and sometimes incarceration.
I always advise fathers to be responsible, be good to their children and spend quality time with them. There is no replacement for a biological father; his presence in his children’s lives can ensure proper education, growth, stability and moral support. There are free resources on line that can help fathers, such as the Fatherhood Educational Institute (http://fatherhood-edu.org). Fathers must utilize these resources and get the help they need to stay right on track with their kids.
We must all learn to be good to one another and appreciate the most important thing in our lives- our children.
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